So Sad

Went to bed last night in a silent house for the first time in two weeks. . . no sound machines lulling babies to sleep. Woke up this morning to quiet. . . no babies fussing or making noise.

Not my favorite way to start the day.

We’ve had Shanna, Jared, and the babies living here for the past two weeks, and I loved it! They sold their house, packed up their stuff and put it on a moving truck, and moved in with us, preparing for a HUGE move across the country. There are doctors on the East Coast who specialize in Liam’s condition, and they are moving there to be closer to medical care. I’ve known this day was coming for weeks, and have been dreading it for weeks. And it’s been as sad as I thought it would be.

It broke my heart to see my baby and her babies leave last night. They took the red-eye to New York and will be spending the next few days settling in, before Jared comes back here to finish this semester at school. Then he’ll be head back there for good as well.

I was glad they left at night—and glad that Sterling took them. Because I sat at home, crying the “ugly cry,” and I was glad no one was around to see me fall apart.

I know that parents say good-bye to their children and grandchildren all the time. . . we’ve done it before. But in the past, there’s always been an end date, a day when we knew they’d be back. . .graduation or the accomplishment of some goal.

This time we don’t have any idea when the Bridegans will be back. Because we live at a high altitude and because it will be hard for Liam to fly with oxygen, we suspect that their visits home will be infrequent. In fact, we probably won’t be all together again as a family for at least a year, until Liam is old enough to keep the oxygen cannula in his nose and carry his own pack.

Fighting that ugly cry again. . .

Having said all that, I’m trying to look on the bright side. (Is there a bright side? Of course. . .there always is.) This is a new adventure for them, and they’ll have a chance to be on their own, in their own space. They’ll be living near Jared’s brother and his wife, whom they get along with really well. And at least they’re still in the United States! (Sterling just chimed in with, “Barely!”)

So, Honey, when do you want to book a flight to New York? I already miss the Bridegans!